


Last Time?

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 05:18:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11120703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Set post reveal, one shot. What if Aaron needed more time to wrap his mind around Robert and to forgive him. Nice ending, I promise.





	Last Time?

Aaron had been told the whole truth, and it hurt. Deep down he wanted to forgive Robert, but he knew it would take time. And while he was working on forgiveness, he didn’t want to be living with Robert, so Robert had moved out to sleep in Vic’s spare room. The most surprising thing was he hadn’t complained once. After telling Aaron the truth it was like he’d expected it. It wasn’t what Aaron expected, especially after being the witness to him begging Chrissie to forgive him for a lot worse. Was it worse, Aaron wondered. A six month affair v a one night mistake? Yeah, probably worse. Then why wasn’t Robert begging him for forgiveness? Maybe he didn’t matter as much. Though when he saw Robert in the café one morning, he instinctively knew that wasn’t true. He looked broken, and Aaron had caught Vic leaving, knowing Robert still hadn’t clocked him.

“How is he?”

“Bad,” Vic said. “He wants to talk to you.”

“He knows where I am,” Aaron said.

“He loves you too much to beg,” Vic said quietly. “He won’t push you into doing something you don’t really want to do.”

“That’s why he’s not talking to me,” Aaron said.

“He’s not “not talking” to you,” Vic said. “He can’t push you. He loves you, and he made a mistake.”

“Run that logic past Adam yet?” Aaron said sharply.

“Adam and I have… more issues than a kiss with Vanessa. He was shutting me out way before that. And I don’t know if it can work.” Vic shrugged. “You two might have had a distance between you, but you were in prison. Adam was distant and I was right in front of him. He just chose not to talk to me.” She sighed. “Robert hates himself, give him a chance.”

“I want to,” Aaron said. “But I see him with her in my head and I don’t know if I can.”

“You two are perfect for each other,” Vic continued.

“Then how could he do it?” Aaron asked weakly.

“Well, I never said he wasn’t a mess,” Vic said. “He’s not sleeping. He needs you.”

 _And I need him_ , Aaron thought but didn’t say. He felt Robert’s eyes suddenly on him as he came out of the café. But Aaron turned away, not quite ready for it. He walked home.

* * *

Aaron went into Hotten on his own, wanting something that wasn’t here. Maybe he wanted a distraction, maybe he wanted someone else. He didn’t know. Aaron was still wearing his wedding ring, not entirely ready to give up on Robert yet, but also not ready to forgive him. Aaron didn’t really examine his reasons too closely, but that was how he found himself in a bar in town on Saturday night, a short man moving to kiss him. Aaron let him, because he’d stopped for long enough to wonder how it would feel to be with someone else. Clearly Robert had wondered. It was fine, but that was it. And the instant guilt Aaron felt for allowing another man to kiss him, that was not fine.

“No.” Aaron forcefully pulled away, because it couldn’t compare. The man who made his heart race, the man who set his entire body on fire wasn’t here. This was a mistake. He wanted, he hoped that maybe kissing someone else would make his heart pound, the way Robert did, even after so long. He wanted those large hands on his skin, his hands. He wanted Robert, and it was that simple, as he took a taxi home. He should never have come here, wondering about someone else. He felt dirty from touching someone else, was that how Robert felt? Maybe his speech about no one coming close, no one comparing, maybe Robert wasn’t trying to manipulate him, maybe he was being honest.

Aaron unlocked the door to the Mill after paying the cab fare and looked around the big empty house that should have Robert in it. Robert who should be kissing him hello, or goodbye when he went off to work. Robert should be the one sharing his bed, Robert should be here, working through their own specific version of messed up together. Aaron texted him.

_“I miss you. Come over. X”_

* * *

 

Robert had been waiting for weeks for a text, a call, a knock on Vic’s door, anything. So when his phone buzzed on Saturday night, he’d almost lost hope that it would be Aaron. And he read those five words, freezing at the implications. He’d already been in bed, but it only took him five minutes to get dressed, jeans, blue shirt and leather jacket. He checked his hair in the mirror for as long as he dared before going over to the Mill, hoping Aaron wouldn’t have changed his mind in the time it took to get there.

He knocked on the door, feeling wrong to use his own key, and Aaron opened it. He looked good. A tight white T shirt, sleeves rolled up to show off his arms and jeans. God, he looked more than good, especially with that bright look in his eyes, that if Robert had been living with Aaron, he’d have read as lust. But too much had happened, and Robert didn’t think that… Aaron kissed him. He tasted of beer and smoke and… how much had he been drinking. One of the hardest things Robert had done lately, but he put his hands on Aaron’s arms and pulled back, needing to know.

“How drunk are you?”

“I didn’t even finish my second pint,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “I’m not pissed, Robert.”

“Why am I here?” Robert asked.

“Because I realised I wanted you,” Aaron said. “You want to argue? Or you want to find the next blonde who’ll…”

“Aaron, I don’t want anyone else,” Robert said desperately. Aaron moved to kiss him again, and God help him, Robert let him. Because his lips were soft, reassuring, familiar and wanting. And even if this was a late night decision influenced by loneliness, Robert wasn’t a good enough man to say no. Not when his husband who he adored was wrapping his arms around him, his hands sliding down against his jeans.

“You sure?” Robert asked as Aaron pulled them both backwards towards the stairs. Aaron nodded.

“Don’t think too much, Robert,” Aaron said. “I want you. Unless you…”

“No, Aaron,” he said lowly. “I want you so much, just…” Aaron nodded upstairs and Robert quickly followed him.

* * *

 

They stripped each other quickly, a tangled mess of clothes and limbs and open mouths, heated breaths and too eager hands. Robert had missed this, had missed having Aaron open and desperate for him. He’d given that up. Robert needed to remember this. Deep down inside, he expected this to be goodbye. They’d always spoken best with their bodies, why would now be any different? So he was going to treasure every single second he got of Aaron like this. Of this wonderful amazing man opening his body to him, trusting him like this, even if it was just one more time. Aaron grunted as Robert pushed two fingers inside him, stretching him. The noise that used to be so beautifully familiar would now be filed away under: _things of Aaron I miss. Things I don’t get any more. Through nothing but my own stupidity._

“Do we need…” Robert started, waving at the bedside drawer that he knew condoms were in. Unless Aaron had moved them in the weeks he’d been gone.

“No,” Aaron said. “There’s been no one else.” Robert sucked into his neck. “And I need to feel you. To feel…” Robert didn’t need to hear anything more. Robert kissed him, enjoying the flicker of eyes that Aaron did, down to his lips as if asking for it. _That’s something I don’t get any more either._

Robert took it as slow as he was capable of, memorising the little pieces of the love of his life. He had to, he had no other option. If this really was it. He committed every gasp, every touch to memory. _How could I ever have taken this for granted?_

* * *

Robert didn’t fall into his normal pattern after sex, which was resting his body somewhere on Aaron’s, his thigh, his chest, his shoulder. Wherever he happened to fall. But right now, he felt hollow, he didn’t get that any more. He got up, walking through to the bathroom to grab a cloth to clean them both up, enjoying Aaron’s quiet moans at over sensitivity as he was touched. Then Robert slowly dressed, pulling his clothes onto his body, thinking over and over that Aaron was the last person to touch him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Aaron asked sleepily. He was always loose and not quite aware after a climax, Robert knew that and he wasn’t about to take advantage. 

“Er… to Vic’s,” Robert said, buttoning his shirt up loosely. “I um… I don’t expect anything, I know this was because you were lonely, and that’s fine.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Aaron grumbled. “Get back in bed.”

“But…”

“Robert, this wasn’t goodbye,” Aaron said, proving once again that he could read Robert well, even after a round of fantastic sex. “I miss you.”

Robert did get back in bed, but warily, keeping his shirt on even as Aaron‘s fingers pushed under the fabric. “I thought you text me because you were lonely.”

“Well, yeah,” Aaron said. “And turned on. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want you. I tried to want someone else, but I don’t. I just want you, and that's it.”

Robert had missed this almost as much as sex with Aaron. The post coital cuddle with the man he loved, Aaron almost trying to bury his nose into Robert’s collarbone, pushing the shirt away. The scent of drying sweat on their skins, the scent of them together. Robert noticed that Aaron was still wearing his wedding ring, had been the entire time. They were linked, the two of them, and after everything they'd been through, they always would be. No matter what the future held.

“This is such a mess, it’s so complicated and…” Robert started

“I want complicated,” Aaron decided. “I tried not to, I tried to want anyone else, but I don’t. it’s just you. No matter how much you hurt me, I can’t help it.”

“I won’t hurt you again,” Robert said.

“I doubt that’s true,” Aaron said sadly. “But you sleep with anyone else and…”

“No,” Robert said. “I don’t want anyone else. Only you.”

“Good,” Aaron said. “I know this is going to be a mess, but… I need you.”

“I need you too,” Robert said. He kissed the top of his head before getting out of bed, finding his phone. “I’m texting Vic,” he said to Aaron’s frown. “Last time she found me not in my bed, I was shivering on a bridge at four in the morning. She‘ll worry if she finds me not there.”

“Why were you on a bridge at four in the morning?” Aaron asked.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Robert said, shaking his head. “Haven’t slept much lately, to be honest.” Aaron smiled sadly.

“Get back in bed,” Aaron said softly when Robert found his phone. Robert smiled and did just that.

 


End file.
